Wednesday 4th April
So here we are, two years down the line and at the end of my treatment. Although strictly speaking I continue to have treatment for the next 4 years as I am on Tamoxifen, however it is the end of my hospital based treatment.
The day itself was delightfully uneventful, although I have discovered that steroids do have some wonderful and hugely pleasing side effects. At this time of year I suffer from hay fever and last year due to a total lack of immune system did not suffer at all - hooray! Annoyingly, when my immune system recovered it didn't have the common decency to come back and behave in a normal manner, so this year my hay fever has been really bad with the world's itchiest eyes. I have to take industrial quantities of steroids as a pre-med to stop my immune system going into overdrive with the Herceptin, consequently my immune system also stops reacting to pollen!!! Hooray for drugs! I could put up with the fact that the steroids stop me from sleeping for about 4 days if it means that I get relief from the hay fever.
I digress. As I said the day and treatment were uneventful. I had the honour of being seen to by the matron, who can find a vein at 500 yards in the dark! So good is she that I didn't have to put my arm in a bucket of warm water.
On leaving the unit I was hugged by all and sundry, which was nice. As I said to them I sincerely hope that I never see any of them again in their professional capacity.
So what have I gained/ learned over the past two years?
Never ignore lumps! Even though the lump that I found was actually a cyst.
Early diagnosis is the key to a good outcome.
I have seen the NHS at its absolute best. At no point during the two years have I ever thought "can we afford this?" "will my insurance cover this?" The staff have without exception been consummately professional and unfailingly good humoured.
I have realised what is and isn't important in the grand scheme of things. Whilst I hope to lead a slightly healthier life don't expect to see me running marathons any time soon. I can't run anyway, since I get slightly cross-eyed and trip over the pavement.
As I have said on many occasion, this is the worst thing that has happened to me but not the worst thing that could have happened to me.
I have been supported by friends near and far, and have been overwhelmed by the genuine concern from people I haven't spoken to in ages. Perhaps they thought they'd better contact me before it was too late! How often we put off that phone call.
Well that's it really. Out with a whimper rather than a bang.
Good bye and thanks for reading.
Love from
Corinne xxx
Friday, 6 April 2012
Sunday, 18 March 2012
The Non-Exclusive Club
Wednesday 14th March
It seems to me that hardly a week goes by without speaking to someone who has developed cancer. I have to say that I am very sad and annoyed that I am now a member of a club that is rapidly becoming non-exclusive!
To all of those who have to undergo the gruelling cancer treatment, you have my deepest sympathy and empathy as well as my heartfelt wish that all goes well and that you will be on the road to recovery very soon.
This was my 17th visit, only one to go! Hooray! It was remarkably uneventful and I was in and out within about 3 hours which is excellent.
I am so looking forward to not having to take copious quantities of drugs which might mean that I actually get to sleep a little better. Steroids do nothing for a girl's beauty sleep!
It seems to me that hardly a week goes by without speaking to someone who has developed cancer. I have to say that I am very sad and annoyed that I am now a member of a club that is rapidly becoming non-exclusive!
To all of those who have to undergo the gruelling cancer treatment, you have my deepest sympathy and empathy as well as my heartfelt wish that all goes well and that you will be on the road to recovery very soon.
This was my 17th visit, only one to go! Hooray! It was remarkably uneventful and I was in and out within about 3 hours which is excellent.
I am so looking forward to not having to take copious quantities of drugs which might mean that I actually get to sleep a little better. Steroids do nothing for a girl's beauty sleep!
Sunday, 26 February 2012
The Old Hand
Wednesday 22nd February
Well I really am in the home straight now - hooray! Number 16 only two left after this!
The funny thing is that my perception is that the gap between sessions is growing. I had to check the date several times because I felt that there had been much more than 3 weeks elapsed since number 15! Interestingly Terry thinks the gaps are getting shorter. Einstein was right, time is all relative!
So I arrive and have to wait in reception for a while. I get talking to this woman who had slightly suspect lymph nodes and then it was discovered that the cancer was everywhere! So a double mastectomy later she was awaiting chemotherapy. She was not impressed with the day surgery in as much as going home the same day was not for her. I on the other hand thought it was absolutely the best thing for me. Still I suppose it depends on what is awaiting you at home.
Anyway, I went in and got the all singing all dancing chair. I am apparently the only patient who likes them. I am weighed and have put on more weight. I have only another 6 weeks or so to use the steroid excuse for getting fat!
The nurse then ferrets about for a vein. Now I am on the slightly less toxic Herceptin they can use deeper veins. Clearly deeper veins don't show the bruises as easily because there is no evidence of my visit on my arm.
The woman next to me asks if I am on Herceptin and how many I have done. I tell her "yes" and that this is my 16th round. She is on her first and asks, not unreasonably if there are any side effects. I tell that for me, apart from my fingernails turning to butter and my face becoming very hot, red and itchy the following day, that "no" there are few if any side effects. I then I remember my first session and mention in passing the massive allergic reaction I had. She looks slightly startled, but then I did point out that I was exceptionally unusual and that perhaps I shouldn't have told her that!
I feel like a real old hand now and see new people coming and going. There was one man there who was having his last session. I felt a pang of envy but know that I too have not long to wait. He said that whilst he would miss the staff and other patients he would not miss the needles at all. Not surprising really as they took four attempts to find a vein.
Well I really am in the home straight now - hooray! Number 16 only two left after this!
The funny thing is that my perception is that the gap between sessions is growing. I had to check the date several times because I felt that there had been much more than 3 weeks elapsed since number 15! Interestingly Terry thinks the gaps are getting shorter. Einstein was right, time is all relative!
So I arrive and have to wait in reception for a while. I get talking to this woman who had slightly suspect lymph nodes and then it was discovered that the cancer was everywhere! So a double mastectomy later she was awaiting chemotherapy. She was not impressed with the day surgery in as much as going home the same day was not for her. I on the other hand thought it was absolutely the best thing for me. Still I suppose it depends on what is awaiting you at home.
Anyway, I went in and got the all singing all dancing chair. I am apparently the only patient who likes them. I am weighed and have put on more weight. I have only another 6 weeks or so to use the steroid excuse for getting fat!
The nurse then ferrets about for a vein. Now I am on the slightly less toxic Herceptin they can use deeper veins. Clearly deeper veins don't show the bruises as easily because there is no evidence of my visit on my arm.
The woman next to me asks if I am on Herceptin and how many I have done. I tell her "yes" and that this is my 16th round. She is on her first and asks, not unreasonably if there are any side effects. I tell that for me, apart from my fingernails turning to butter and my face becoming very hot, red and itchy the following day, that "no" there are few if any side effects. I then I remember my first session and mention in passing the massive allergic reaction I had. She looks slightly startled, but then I did point out that I was exceptionally unusual and that perhaps I shouldn't have told her that!
I feel like a real old hand now and see new people coming and going. There was one man there who was having his last session. I felt a pang of envy but know that I too have not long to wait. He said that whilst he would miss the staff and other patients he would not miss the needles at all. Not surprising really as they took four attempts to find a vein.
Thursday, 2 February 2012
Home Straight and More Bad News
Wednesday 1st February
Firstly let me assure you that the bad news does not relate to me. I was going to title this entry "Home Straight and More Bloody Cancer" but I thought that might put some of my readers into a bit of a tail spin.
I have now completed 15 rounds of Herceptin and have only another 3 to go - hooray! Apart from taking 3 attempts to find a vein my visit went off smoothly and uneventfully. However the unit was understaffed due to one bad back, a migraine which necessitated a visit to A & E and a broken ankle. I am beginning to think that perhaps the inmates are in a slightly better state of health than the staff!
As for the bad news my oldest friend, or rather the friend I have known the longest (as I have many friends who are way older) had a birthday party in January. She took me to one side and told me that she too has breast cancer. It would appear that she will have to only (and I use that word carefully) have to undergo a lumpectomy followed by radiotherapy. I wrote to her the following day and I have to say it was the hardest letter I have had to write. It was difficult to tell her what she can expect without coming across as completely doom laden. As I said cancer is not a battle but a long, hard and boring slog which has to be endured.
The thing that surprised me the most was that I was considerably more upset and annoyed that she has cancer than I was when I was diagnosed. I couldn't quite work out why at first and then it struck me. Up until this point I was labouring under the complete misapprehension that since I had "done" breast cancer that was it. It wouldn't have to be dealt with again by anyone, which I realise is completely mad.
Cancer will always be there but hopefully the remedies and survival rates will continue to improve.
Firstly let me assure you that the bad news does not relate to me. I was going to title this entry "Home Straight and More Bloody Cancer" but I thought that might put some of my readers into a bit of a tail spin.
I have now completed 15 rounds of Herceptin and have only another 3 to go - hooray! Apart from taking 3 attempts to find a vein my visit went off smoothly and uneventfully. However the unit was understaffed due to one bad back, a migraine which necessitated a visit to A & E and a broken ankle. I am beginning to think that perhaps the inmates are in a slightly better state of health than the staff!
As for the bad news my oldest friend, or rather the friend I have known the longest (as I have many friends who are way older) had a birthday party in January. She took me to one side and told me that she too has breast cancer. It would appear that she will have to only (and I use that word carefully) have to undergo a lumpectomy followed by radiotherapy. I wrote to her the following day and I have to say it was the hardest letter I have had to write. It was difficult to tell her what she can expect without coming across as completely doom laden. As I said cancer is not a battle but a long, hard and boring slog which has to be endured.
The thing that surprised me the most was that I was considerably more upset and annoyed that she has cancer than I was when I was diagnosed. I couldn't quite work out why at first and then it struck me. Up until this point I was labouring under the complete misapprehension that since I had "done" breast cancer that was it. It wouldn't have to be dealt with again by anyone, which I realise is completely mad.
Cancer will always be there but hopefully the remedies and survival rates will continue to improve.
Thursday, 12 January 2012
What A Difference A Year Makes
Wednesday 11th January
It is hard for me to imagine how different things were a mere 12 months ago! January 2011 I had no hair, was in the throes of chemotherapy and consequently felt like death warmed up only worse.
Now I have a full head of thick lush hair and apart from the overwhelming fatigue which results from the Herceptin, I feel fine.
My main gripe is that because I have to take loads of steroids prior to having Herceptin, my sleeping pattern for the week go completely haywire. I generally do not sleep for about 3 to 4 nights. It is very frustrating being this fatigued and tired and not being able to sleep. I can well see why sleep deprivation is used as a method of torture! The other side effect of steroids is that you tend to, and I quote one of the nurses, "blow up like a balloon!" Well according to the nurse I am doing very well as I appear not to have inflated as much as I could have. I am hoping that once I have finished taking enough steroids to fell a horse I shall start deflating.
This is my 14th treatment, only 4 to go. I didn't get the all singing all dancing chair this time, which is a pity as they have lovely wide arms upon which I can rest my phone, pen, drink, newspapers, lunch etc.
The general protocol for locating veins is that you start near the hand and work your way up. I tend to ask for the back of my hand to be left alone for two reasons, firstly there is little padding and the needle going in hurts more than anywhere else and secondly, because they have to use my right arm it means that I cannot do the umpteen crosswords that I bring with me. The nurses are all amenable to this request. So the next nearest vein is the one at the bottom of my thumb. The nurse this time had a good old go at it going backwards and forwards until she finally got it in. To say it hurt a lot is something of an understatement!
Anyway, everything after that went according to plan and I was all done in a little under 3 hours, which is good.
Over the past few months I have watched new patients coming in usually with their various relations in attendance. The one thing that they all have in common, is that whilst the patient looks, understandably nervous, the relations all without exception look absolutely terrified. I guess it really must be worse for those who stand and wait.
It is hard for me to imagine how different things were a mere 12 months ago! January 2011 I had no hair, was in the throes of chemotherapy and consequently felt like death warmed up only worse.
Now I have a full head of thick lush hair and apart from the overwhelming fatigue which results from the Herceptin, I feel fine.
My main gripe is that because I have to take loads of steroids prior to having Herceptin, my sleeping pattern for the week go completely haywire. I generally do not sleep for about 3 to 4 nights. It is very frustrating being this fatigued and tired and not being able to sleep. I can well see why sleep deprivation is used as a method of torture! The other side effect of steroids is that you tend to, and I quote one of the nurses, "blow up like a balloon!" Well according to the nurse I am doing very well as I appear not to have inflated as much as I could have. I am hoping that once I have finished taking enough steroids to fell a horse I shall start deflating.
This is my 14th treatment, only 4 to go. I didn't get the all singing all dancing chair this time, which is a pity as they have lovely wide arms upon which I can rest my phone, pen, drink, newspapers, lunch etc.
The general protocol for locating veins is that you start near the hand and work your way up. I tend to ask for the back of my hand to be left alone for two reasons, firstly there is little padding and the needle going in hurts more than anywhere else and secondly, because they have to use my right arm it means that I cannot do the umpteen crosswords that I bring with me. The nurses are all amenable to this request. So the next nearest vein is the one at the bottom of my thumb. The nurse this time had a good old go at it going backwards and forwards until she finally got it in. To say it hurt a lot is something of an understatement!
Anyway, everything after that went according to plan and I was all done in a little under 3 hours, which is good.
Over the past few months I have watched new patients coming in usually with their various relations in attendance. The one thing that they all have in common, is that whilst the patient looks, understandably nervous, the relations all without exception look absolutely terrified. I guess it really must be worse for those who stand and wait.
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