My Portacath Insertion

This portacath insertion is a short procedure.

We arrive at 8.45am shortly before the first member of staff.

The intervention unit does portacath insertions, biopsies, angiograms, angioplasties and other similar stuff.

The staff are all unfailingly lovely.

I could be sedated, but then recovery takes longer, I would have to stay on the unit for about 3 hours and I won't be able to eat for a while afterwards. I opt not to be sedated. Getting home quickly is my aim.

The surgeon is Italian, quick and has done thousands of portacaths. He explains everything that is going to happen.

I have the ubiquitous cannula put in my arm.I walk to the theatre, all of 10 yards, hop onto the bed, which is very narrow, The staff all introduce themselves and other important stuff is discussed between the numerous staff.

I am covered first in betadine, then a large sterile sheet with a hole where the procedure will take place.

I am told that the local anaesthetic will sting as it is injected. They are not kidding!

The first part involves inserting the catheter into my jugular vein. This is really uncomfortable but not painful. My vein is quite small and a bit collapsed as a result of my not eating or drinking for hours and hours beforehand as instructed. I have to pretend to strain as if on the loo as this expands the vein making insertion easier.

Next more local anaesthetic in the site for the actual port, just above my right breast. This really, really stings and I need loads as I am such a wimp. The surgeon then starts making the pocket for the port, in spite of the local anaesthetic this hurts, but a delightful radiographer holds my hand and talks to me about my children and other stuff to distract me. After much tugging and pushing etc. the portacath is fitted and tested. I am then sewn up, cleaned up and wheeled on my bed to recovery. The whole thing took about 30 minutes.

I am kept an eye on, blood pressure monitored etc. The surgeon tells me I can go home - hooray.

I get home, take copious quantities of painkillers, a late breakfast and then a well deserved afternoon snooze.