Machines and Menopause

Monday 7th February

You will note that once again there has been a long gap between postings. This is because firstly, as stated before, chemotherapy is nothing if not monotonous and secondly I have been quite poorly, more of which later.

So the penultimate session. I arrive and there is no one there, the temptation to simply run away was overwhelming, but I didn't.

Previously the chemotherapy is injected into a cannula by the nurse. This time however I was attached to a pump into which the nurse attached the syringes and the pump mixes the drugs with the saline and then pumped it into me.

This had a very pleasant result in that previously when the first few milliliters of the drug were pumped in by the nurse I was overcome by a huge wave of nausea, although I never actually threw up and once the first bit was in the rest went in without any effect. Using the pump I had absolutely no nausea at all, which was nice!

My two days after were spent doing the usual of sleeping, eating and taking various anti-emetics and steroids. In fact I felt so well that on Friday I almost felt as though I could have gone into work. But I quickly dismissed this idea. In general I felt much better than previously although this may have had something to do with the fact that I am now on three different anti-emetics! Unfortunately one of the side effects of anti-emetics is that not only do they stop stuff coming out of the top they also stop stuff coming out of the bottom!!! More dried fruit and psyllium husks! Normal service was resumed within about 4 days!!!

Monday (31st) I started to feel that I was going down with another cold. I wasn't too bothered as the one I had had over Christmas wasn't that bad, however by the evening I was feeling particularly grotty and decided that I wouldn't go to yoga the following day.

Tuesday was spent in bed feeling particularly sorry for myself. By this time I had not slept properly since the previous Tuesday and my throat was beginning to feel as though I had gargled with broken glass and acid. So I spent the whole day wallowing in self-pity and trying to catch up on a little sleep. I reckon that having a minor breakdown once every six months isn't too bad! By Wednesday, whilst my cold wasn't much better my general mental well being was much improved.

On the whole my sleep has been appalling. This is down to several things, my cold, insomnia and the glory which are hot flushes!!! Chemotherapy puts you into the menopause with a vengeance. So far the only symptoms have been the hot flushes. They are however most annoying. I find that I also appear to be suffering from cold flushes. My body temperature is never stable. Whilst cold flushes are much easier to deal with, I just wrap up or snuggle down until they pass, hot flushes are a completely different kettle of fish. My head feels as though a thousand pointy footed ants are marching across my head, and no amount of fanning or removal of clothes alleviates the symptoms. If I am asleep it wakes me up and I have to throw off all the bedclothes and lie spread eagled until it passes and then I feel really cold so I have to throw on all the bedclothes. This can happen up to 3 or 4 times a night so you can see why I haven't been sleeping too well recently. What is possibly the most irritating aspect of hot flushes is that they occur much more frequently during the night than during the day, for every hot flush I have during the day I will have at least three after 8pm, which isn't too bad if I am up and awake but a pain in the proverbial if I am not.

Assuming that my cold does not prevent my next chemotherapy session going ahead as scheduled, you should all hear a very loud sigh of relief on Wednesday 16th February.