General Gripes and Major Moans

Firstly the caveat.

These are my opinions, I am fully aware that not everyone shares my opinions. Further, I am also aware that people find dealing with people with cancer as difficult as dealing with the bereaved. They hope that they are saying the "right" thing.

I am not brave, I have incurable cancer. I am not fighting anything, I have incurable cancer. I do not necessarily have a positive attitude, I have incurable cancer.

I go to the hospital and am treated with the best that medical science and the NHS can provide. I am an unwilling, but grateful participant in the joys that are cancer treatment.

I do not need to be wished good luck when I go for the innumerable scans. I need good science. If anything it is the technicians who need the luck in finding my last remaining usable vein.

I also do not need to be wished good luck when I see the oncologist for the results of my scans. It's way too late by then.

I realise that all of the above makes me seem like an ungrateful curmudgeon and in some respects I am. It's not that I am ungrateful for people's good wishes, I just get a little fed up with being told how brave I am, that I will fight the good fight, that I will get better, in spite of the fact that I have incurable cancer.

I think what I would like is for people to realise that platitudes, for that is what they are, can be very annoying. What I am going through is a (hopefully) long, hard slog. It is tedious, and mentally and physically draining. The rest of my life will be lived in 3 weekly segments, punctuated with 4 monthly scans. I hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

I am more than happy to talk to you about what I am going through. If you ask me how I am, I will tell you in glorious technicoloured detail.

If you want to know what the "right" thing is to say, talk to me like a normal human being, not a cancer victim.

My general attitude to life is, shit happens, deal with it.